


hungover you

by miraebbi



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Juyeon, M/M, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Romance, enough horny time its time to cry, insecure hyunjae, oblivious juyeon, there are a lot of misunderstandings, this feels like a kdrama, why is the jujae tag full of pwp, younghoon is the real mvp here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraebbi/pseuds/miraebbi
Summary: Juyeon keeps getting drunk, and his friends have no choice but to call Hyunjae, his ex-boyfriend because he’s the only person Juyeon is willing to listen to
Relationships: Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Lee Juyeon
Comments: 62
Kudos: 312





	hungover you

**Author's Note:**

> playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/58WdHB8wiUTT1SmwlxzEqR?si=jGyPBEwXS4K7S50XBr2dXg

Hyunjae sighs deeply, rubbing at his right temple. “Again?”

Hyunjae can easily visualise Eric’s exasperated expression as the younger whines to him over the phone. “I'm so sorry hyung but he’s really a fucking mess tonight, he just knocked over half our shot glasses and almost punched the bartender in the face. And then he- okay he literally just fell flat on the ground, _younghoon can you pick him up goddammit_ \- I’m sorry please we really need your help just this last time I promise”

“Okay fine, this better be the last time okay?” Hyunjae warns, hanging up the phone, cutting off Eric's outpour of gratitude - _oh my god thank you so much hyung you’re a lifesaver I will kiss your feet._

He lets his head fall back onto the wall with a dull thud, sitting solemnly at the edge of his bed. This is the third consecutive Saturday in which he needed to send Juyeon home, his ex being absolutely and completely wasted each time.

Hyunjae had been shocked at the first call, with Eric yelling at him over the booming club music that Juyeon couldn’t stop throwing up from all the alcohol he had chugged, and that he was going to pass out at any second. Hyunjae had dropped everything he was doing and rushed over, where he found Juyeon crouched over a toilet bowl, drenched in sweat, face as pale as a sheet. Hyunjae held him, pushed away the hair that was sticking to his forehead, rubbed his back soothingly as the younger hurled out the contents of his stomach. Juyeon blinked at Hyunjae blearily, in a daze as Hyunjae gently wiped his mouth with a wet tissue, stroking his hair softly.

Hyunjae pretends he didn’t hear the whisper of _I miss you_ that slipped out of Juyeon’s mouth before he passed out.

Hyunjae thinks it's just a one-time occurrence, but it happens again. This time it was Younghoon who had called him, interrupting his study session. “Hyunjae! Please get over here, this idiot is saying he won’t leave the place unless you’re the one who’s picking him up”

Hyunjae’s heart clenches painfully in his chest. Back when they were in a relationship, Hyunjae had made Juyeon promise him that if he went out drinking, he had to call Hyunjae to bring him home. With bizarrely good looks and a sweet personality to match, Juyeon is one of the most sought after guys in the university. As expected, people search for any way to get close to him, with many trying to take advantage of him when he’s drunk. More often than not, Hyunjae has had to pry desperate hands off of Juyeon’s body, loudly declaring that Juyeon is _his_ boyfriend, and that he is the only one who is going to be taking him home.

But he doesn’t have to anymore, because Juyeon is no longer his boyfriend.

“Just drag him out or something,” Hyunjae says, the thought of having to see Juyeon right now being too painful to bear. The space on his wall where he used to stick a polaroid of the both of them seemed more prominent than ever, reminding Hyunjae of what he had, what he _lost._

Younghoon lets out an incredulous laugh. “I’m genuinely flattered that you think we are strong enough to carry Juyeon out”

Hyunjae buries his face in his hands. Curse Juyeon and his years of basketball training that left him with rather unmatchable strength.

“Fine” Hyunjae grits out, slamming his book shut. “Text me the address”

Hyunjae walks into the club, the flashing neon lights and heavy EDM music making his head spin. He spots Younghoon and the rest, crowding over a petulant Juyeon who remains glued to his seat, adamantly refusing to move an inch. Hyunjae gnaws at his lip, mentally preparing himself as he walks over.

Chanhee spots him first, eyes lighting up with relief. “Look who’s here Juyeon!” Juyeon tears his glare away from Younghoon, who is trying his best to lift him up. Upon the sight of Hyunjae, his frown immediately disappears, and his lips curl into a bright smile full of adoration. “Hyung!” he exclaims, jumping out his seat excitedly, pushing through people to reach Hyunjae. With every step that Juyeon takes, Hyunjae feels his heart break a little more.

“Hyung” he breathes out, moving in to stand closer to Hyunjae. “I waited here for you, just like you asked me to” Hyunjae sucks in a deep breath, trying to keep his emotions in check. _He’s drunk, he’s drunk, it doesn’t mean anything, he’s drunk._

“Let’s get you home shall we?” Hyunjae says, forcing a smile on his face. He grips onto Juyeon’s wrist, tugging him along as he follows the rest who are making their way out of the club.

Hyunjae is trying his best to navigate his way through the crowd when Juyeon suddenly pulls away from his grip. Hyunjae’s eyes widen in alarm as he whips his head back, frantically searching for the younger.

But Juyeon is still right behind him when he turns around, giving Hyunjae a tender smile. Hyunjae can only stare wordlessly as Juyeon slides his own hand into Hyunjae’s significantly smaller one, interlocking their fingers tightly. Juyeon grins, eyes full of mirth as he holds up their hands. “This way, we won’t lose each other!”

 _But we did_ , Hyunjae wants to scream. He feels like crying, the familiar warmth of Juyeon’s hand making him choke up with emotions. He quickly turns away, channelling all his focus into getting them out of the tight crowd, trying to ignore how his heart is twisting painfully in his chest.

They finally make it out of the club, the fresh and cool air outside bringing sweet relief. Juyeon is slowly falling asleep, and Changmin and Chanhee quickly take this opportunity to haul him off Hyunjae, carrying him into the taxi. Hyunjae and Younghoon wave goodbye as the taxi drives off into the distance, fading out of sight.

“Come on, I'll give you a lift, it’s the least I could do,” Younghoon says, gesturing to his car. Hyunjae accepts the offer gratefully, too exhausted to take the train home.

Throughout the drive, Hyunjae notices Younghoon fidgeting hesitantly, continuously glancing over at him but not saying a word.

“If you have something to say, just say it”

Younghoon clears his throat awkwardly, cheeks turning red at being caught. “Um.. I just wanted to ask…if you don’t mind me asking...you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to…. But”

“Just say it already”

“Why did you break up with Juyeon?”

Hyunjae’s breath hitches in his throat. He swallows the lump in his throat as he picks at his fingernails, trying to keep his voice steady. “I just...I just don’t think he loves me anymore, I’m not good enough for him”

Younghoon gapes at him, mouth falling wide open in shock. “Are you serious? Juyeon? _Our_ Lee Juyeon? You’re kidding, right? He’s literally so in love with you!”

Hyunjae presses his head against the window, staring at the city lights that pass by in a blur. “You don’t understand, it may seem like that, but it really isn’t.”

Given his top tier photography skills, Hyunjae had been assigned to be the photographer for the school’s most popular and prestigious event - the basketball championships. It is the highlight of the school year, with students packing the stadium to its maximum capacity, all eager to watch the competition. And at the centre of it all, the star of the show, was Juyeon - to no one’s surprise. Naturally, he attracted attention as he was the captain of the team, his good leadership and sharp skills on the court carrying his team to victory each year. But that’s not all, everyone raved about how sinfully good he looked on the court, with students from rival school’s asking for his name, some even cheering for him instead.

Hyunjae remained hidden at the sidelines, being sure to capture all of Juyeon’s winning shots. While his heart fluttered at how Juyeon’s biceps flex when he shoots, Hyunjae fell for Juyeon for reasons very different from others - he fell for the way Juyeon gave his very best till the very end in every game he did, even when his team was losing. He fell for the way Juyeon cared about his teammates, running up and down to get them water, always giving them warm words of encouragement. He fell for the way Juyeon went around thanking everyone who was involved in the event, whether it be the photographers like Hyunjae, the student ushers or the announcers. He always made sure to go around thanking each and every one of them sincerely, even after an absolutely exhausting game. Juyeon had good looks and dazzling charisma, but Hyunjae fell for the heart of gold that laid underneath.

Which is why Hyunjae could barely control his smile when Juyeon had shyly come up to him at the end of his final game, asking him out on a date.

Their first few months had been absolutely perfect. They had started dating at the start of their vacation, meaning they could spend nearly every waking moment together - picnic dates when the sun was shining, and movie nights in when the rain poured outside. It was absolutely perfect, Juyeon made Hyunjae feel like the luckiest guy on the planet.

But the new school year came around, and that was when Hyunjae realised just how popular Juyeon is. Hyunjae could barely hold a conversation with him as they walked down the hallway, the younger being too preoccupied with returning the numerous excited greetings he received from nearly everyone who walked past. Juyeon would often miss Hyunjae’s texts as his inbox was flooded with messages from tons of other people. At every outing, Hyunjae would watch everyone fight for Juyeon’s attention, clearly proud of themselves when Juyeon laughs at their joke or flashes them his gorgeous smile.

A seed of insecurity plants itself in Hyunjae’s heart, growing sharp thorns as the days pass by. The thing was, Hyunjae wasn’t popular like Juyeon. Hyunjae kept to his close group of friends, never really bothering to expand his social circle, simply not having the time or energy to do so. His friends have told him repeatedly that he could gain attention for his looks if he just dressed up a little bit, but Hyunjae didn’t really see the need, sticking to his casual outfits of a hoodie paired with jeans. He was perfectly content with the way he was, and with the way things were.

But as he watches the flocks of glamorous individuals flaunt over Juyeon, captivating his attention to the point where he barely says a word to Hyunjae the entire night, Hyunjae feels horribly inadequate. He isn’t as pretty, or as handsome, or as funny, or as charismatic - the list goes on and on. He starts to doubt himself, is he good enough for Juyeon?

Overtime, Hyunjae’s insecurity only deepens. Juyeon starts to cancel on their dates to hang out with his friends - _“baby I’m sorry but I really need to go for this one tonight youngtaek keeps bugging me_ ” Hyunjae always smiles and nods understandingly, but his heart sinks every single time. He lays on his bed at night, tapping through instagram stories of Juyeon surrounded by numerous gorgeous faces, looking like he is having the time of his life. He can’t stop the onslaught of venomous whispers that echo in his head.

_You’re not good enough, that’s why he doesn’t want to stay with you._

_He doesn’t need you, look at how many friends he has._

_There are so many better people who want him, why would he still want you?_

_He doesn’t love you anymore._

A fresh wave of tears stained his pillow every single night.

“Lee Juyeon, I’m going to kill that motherfucker” Younghoon spits out, gripping his steering wheel tightly. Hyunjae snorts. “I would like to see you try”

“So what, just one day you suddenly decided that you had enough?”

Hyunjae bites his lip, running the tape back in his mind to the day he broke up with Juyeon.

**

“I’m so sorry Hyunjae, but you didn’t get the scholarship”

Hyunjae’s heart lurches in his chest, unable to accept his professor’s words. How could this be? Hyunjae had worked so hard for this, spending countless nights working tirelessly without getting a wink of sleep. He wanted it so _badly_ \- it would have given him the opportunity of a lifetime, an opportunity he can never get on his own because his family couldn’t afford it. The intense disappointment weighs heavily on his shoulders as he leaves the office, tears welling up in his eyes. He felt absolutely _horrible_ , and he desperately needs someone right now. He quickly whips out his phone, sending Juyeon a few hurried, rather incoherent texts.

_Juyeon where are you can you please come and find me please I need you right now_

Hyunjae waits for a while but Juyeon doesn’t reply. Impatient and desperate, he hurries to the building where Juyeon’s classes were located. He searches around tirelessly, walking up and down the stairs repeatedly, but he just can’t seem to find Juyeon at any of his usual spots. Hyunjae grows more frustrated with every second, the need to see Juyeon clawing insistently in his chest. He eventually gives up, figuring that Juyeon was probably just extremely busy at the moment.

With a dejected sigh, he heads home, shoulders slouched sadly. He’s about to board the university’s shuttle bus when he sees something that makes him stop dead in his tracks.

It’s Juyeon, chatting and laughing happily with Haewon.

 _Haewon_. Out of everyone, she’s definitely the main person who makes Hyunjae feel the most insecure about his relationship. Haewon is one of the most popular girls in the university, with glamorous visuals and a wealthy father to boot. It’s a well-known fact that she has a crush on Juyeon, given how she blatantly flirts with him at every chance she gets. Juyeon is a little naive and oblivious, so he doesn’t catch on, but Hyunjae can see it all too well. He can’t count the number of times he has clenched his fists under the table as he watched Haewon flirt with Juyeon shamelessly, even though Hyunjae is _right there._

He’s tried to bring it up to Juyeon, but the latter always dismisses it with a wave, saying Haewon is just friendly, and that it shouldn’t matter.

But it does matter, especially right now, when it feels like Juyeon has picked her over him.

Hyunjae feels pathetic, he feels so fucking pathetic. Here he is begging for attention, yet Juyeon can’t be bothered. He doesn’t want to do this anymore, he doesn’t want to be caught up in this one sided affection, letting Juyeon drag him along only to dump him for someone better. Juyeon doesn’t love him anymore, he needs to end things right now before he gets hurt even more.

That very day, he waits until Juyeon is at basketball practice before he goes to his apartment, hurriedly packing all the belongings that he left there. He returns Juyeon his things too, his hoodies that Hyunjae always stole, the basketball jersey that he loves seeing Hyunjae wear (something about seeing Hyunjae wearing his number always riled him up), the keys to his apartment - every single thing that intertwined their lives.

Hyunjae leaves a note next to the pile, writing a simple - “ _let’s break up”_. He figured he is making things easier for Juyeon, ending it quickly and simply. Now Juyeon can go on to date someone who’s actually good enough for him, someone who he actually loves.

He hopes Juyeon doesn’t notice how the ink is smudged from his tears.

Hyunjae thinks about whether he should wait for Juyeon to get home to do this face to face, but frankly, he knows he won’t be able to bring himself to do it. Because even though Juyeon might have lost feelings for him, Hyunjae hasn’t, he hasn’t at all. Hyunjae still loves him, so much more than he wants to.

As he walks out of Juyeon’s apartment for the last time, he leaves a piece of his heart behind - a piece that will, forever and always, belong to Juyeon.

**

Younghoon pulls up to Hyunjae’s apartment, killing the brakes. They sit in tense silence, atmosphere heavy after Hyunjae’s emotional outpour. Younghoon lets out a deep sigh.

“Look, I understand, I really do. Juyeon has an insanely busy life, not only all the socialising he has to do but also the tons of commitments he has - dance, basketball, literature club etcetera. He gets so caught up in the whirl of it all that he often forgets to check up on the people close to him. As one of his best friends, I’ve definitely been in your shoes before. But it’s purely unintentional! He really doesn’t mean to and he always feels terrible afterwards.”

“He can make time for his friends, I don’t see why he can’t make time for me” Hyunjae snaps bitterly, before heaving out a deep sigh. “Look, it’s not like I was asking him to be with me 24/7. I wasn’t asking him to take me out on extravagant dates or something. I just wanted to spend a bit of time with him you know? I just wanted him to walk me to class, or grab a cup of coffee with me in between lessons. Or at the very least, be there when I fall asleep, and when I wake up the next morning. He always isn’t. He would have made time, no matter how busy he was. Because i think that’s just what you would do, _naturally_ , when you care about someone”

“But he really does care about you a lot!” Younghoon argues, desperately hoping to convince Hyunjae. “I mean you see how he keeps calling for you when he’s drunk! And he only calls _your_ name, no one else’s.”

“I want someone who wants me when they are sober, not only when they are drunk” Hyunjae tries to stop his voice from shaking, furiously blinking away the tears that started to form in his eyes. “I know you’re saying this only because you’re sick of Juyeon’s drunk behaviour,” Younghoon loudly protests, but Hyunjae ignores him. “He will get over it soon, just be patient.”

“After all, I don’t mean anything to him.”

\-----

Hyunjae enters the club, not even having to search for the table where Juyeon and his friends usually sat, being all too familiar with the layout. He is largely taken aback at the sight of Juyeon swaying drunkenly on top of the table, yelling and cursing at anyone who tried to get him down. His heart sinks, that’s not the Juyeon he knows.

“Come on Juyeonie, don’t be like this, listen to me okay?” he hears a voice coo. Hyunjae’s gaze travels to the owner and irritation immediately floods his veins. It was Haewon, to no one’s fucking surprise. He watches as Juyeon immediately yanks his hand out of her hold, slurring out a harsh “ _fuck off_ ”, much to Haewon’s dismay.

 _You should have done that a long time ago_. Hyunjae thinks bitterly, rolling his eyes. He watches how everyone fusses over Juyeon, patiently trying to persuade him to come down.

Hyunjae feels stupid and insignificant standing there. With all these people that care about him so much, why would Juyeon need him?

He tries to leave, but unfortunately, Eric had already spotted him, rushing over to pull him towards their table. “Hyung! Hyung! Thank god you’re here oh my god I have no idea what’s wrong with him today. We keep trying to get him to stop but he refuses to listen to anyone”

“So what makes you think he will listen to me?” Hyunjae grumbles as he tries to shrug off Eric’s grip, “This is stupid I’m going h-” he cuts himself off when he sees Juyeon aggressively shove Sunwoo away, sending the younger tumbling backwards. Hyunjae immediately panics, not even thinking as he rushes over to Sunwoo as fast he can. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asks frantically, helping him get up.

“Hyunjae?”

Hyunjae turns around, looking up at Juyeon who is currently frozen in place, staring at him in shock. “Juyeon, get down, _now”_ he grits out, seething at the fact that Juyeon had hurt Sunwoo.

Everyone gawks in shock at the way Juyeon scrambles off the table, not even showing the slightest bit of hesitation. “Seriously? 10 of us have been begging and pleading with him for almost an hour to get down but you say like 3 words and he immediately listens?” Sunwoo complains loudly, rubbing his aching shoulder.

“There, I got him down, I’m going home now,” Hyunjae says to Eric, ignoring Juyeon, whose gaze is completely fixated on him.

He turns to leave, but Juyeon suddenly encircles his arms around his waist, pulling him into a tight back hug. Hyunjae gasps in shock and fights against his hold, trying to pry his arms off but Juyeon hooks his chin over his shoulder and hugs him even tighter, desperately trying to close any distance between them.

“Don’t leave, please don’t leave. I miss you, I miss you so fucking badly. Please don’t go”

Hyunjae is at a loss for words. The intense wave of emotions that overcome him leaves his breathing unsteady, hands trembling. He’s drunk, he’s drunk, he doesn’t mean what he says. Hyunjae moves to push Juyeon away again, but the sudden feeling of something wet on his shoulder makes him freeze. He turns around, gasping at the sight of tears running furiously down Juyeon’s face. He instantly panics - he knows how much Juyeon hates crying, and he never does unless something is really, really wrong.

“Hey hey, don’t cry, what’s wrong?” Hyunjae whispers, a hand reaching up to gently wipe away the tears staining the younger’s face.

“You’re gonna leave me again” Juyeon chokes out, his voice hoarse and broken.

Hyunjae can’t tell if this is Juyeon’s genuine feelings, or if they are just empty drunken words, but either way, it makes his heart _break_. Because despite it all, he still cares for Juyeon, deeply so.

“I won’t leave, I promise,” Hyunjae says, giving Juyeon a small smile. It’s an empty promise, one he is going to break when tomorrow comes.

But for tonight, just for tonight, he will keep it.

So he stays. He carries Juyeon into the taxi, letting the younger rest his head against his shoulder as they drive through the sleepy streets of seoul. He holds Juyeon’s hand tightly as he stumbles up the stairs, making sure to always catch him when he’s about to fall. He pulls the blanket over Juyeon’s body, stroking his hair gently until he falls asleep.

But as the first rays of sunlight filter across the city, Hyunjae is long gone.

\------

Hyunjae stares at his wall blankly. He has been trying to complete his homework over the last 2 hours, but his mind keeps drifting off to the events from last night. It’s like a broken tape, replaying in his mind over and over again.

_Don’t leave, please don’t leave. I miss you, I miss you so fucking badly. Please don’t go._

Hyunjae gnaws at his lips, did Juyeon mean what he said? Does he actually miss Hyunjae?

There’s a knock at his door, jolting him out of his deep brooding. He rolls his eyes, it’s probably Haknyeon asking for snacks. He heaves himself up from his chair, trudging over to the door.

“Hak I do not have any-”

The words die in this throat. Because it wasn’t Haknyeon standing outside his door, it was _Juyeon._

“You said you wouldn’t leave,” Juyeon’s voice shakes, every word charged with unmistakable hurt. “You promised me you wouldn’t leave”

Hyunjae is completely frozen from head to toe, unable to breathe. “J-juyeon? What….w-what are you doing here?” He stumbles backwards when Juyeon marches in, slamming the door behind him.  
“What am I doing here?” Juyeon asks, his voice steadily growing louder with anger. “What am I doing here? Because you’re not fucking telling me anything!”

“One day we’re perfectly fine, the next day you suddenly pack all your things and leave me without saying a single word!” A wave of guilt washes over Hyunjae, making him duck his head in shame. He knows it wasn’t right of him to just break things off without any explanation of some sort. But frankly, he didn’t understand why Juyeon was angry. He thought he would have been relieved, to get rid of the deadweight that Hyunjae is.

“I couldn’t even contact you because you blocked me everywhere. I tried asking all your friends what was wrong but no one wanted to tell me anything. I thought you were going through a rough patch and needed some time alone. But I thought you were going to tell me, I thought when you were ready, you were going to tell me what’s going on.”

“But you didn’t. I waited, Hyunjae, I waited for you. I waited for days, I waited for weeks, and now it’s almost been a month and you haven’t said a word to me.”

“Did-” Juyeon falters, his anger dissipating into something more fragile - hurt, fear. “Did our relationship mean that little to you?”

Hyunjae’s head snaps up, and he glares at Juyeon, trembling in anger. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

Juyeon is visibly taken aback, eyes widening in shock. “What do you mean?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you how much our relationship means to you? Because from how you act, it seems as if you don’t give a shit about our relationship”

Juyeon stares at him in complete disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about?” he demands, furious that Hyunjae would even _think_ that. “ _jesus christ_ don’t you know how much I care about you?”

And with those words, the dam breaks, and Hyunjae’s deepest frustrations and anger come spewing out in an incoherent mess.

“No Juyeon, I _don’t_ know. You’re always so busy with your hundreds and thousands of commitments. I barely get to see you, and you don’t bother to check up on me, choosing to ditch me all the fucking time!” Hyunjae yells. He wants to stop, but the ugly words can’t seem to stop tumbling out of his mouth.

“That day when we broke up, I needed you Juyeon. I didn’t get the scholarship. I was feeling like absolute shit and I just wanted to see you. But you fucking ignored all my texts and calls, too busy flirting with your precious Haewon”

“If you genuinely cared about me, you would want to spend time with me, you would be there when I need you. But you weren’t Juyeon, you _fucking_ weren’t. So no Juyeon, I don’t know how much you care, in fact, I don’t even know if you even care in the first place”

The silence that follows is deafening. Juyeon stands rooted to the ground, face stricken with heavy guilt. Hyunjae struggles with all his might, but he can’t stop the sob that escapes his throat, sharp and painful.

Juyeon immediately rushes to him, placing his hand at the back of Hyunjae’s head to pull him towards his chest. And Hyunjae lets him, having missed the comfort of being in Juyeon’s arms too badly. He clutches at the hem of Juyeon’s shirt, crying into his shoulder uncontrollably.

“God Hyunjae I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Juyeon whispers, pressing soft kisses into Hyunjae’s hair. “Fuck I’m so stupid I had no idea. I can’t believe I didn’t realise. I’m so sorry it’s all my fault, I fucked up, _shit_ I’m so sorry this is my fault, this is all my fault” He pulls Hyunjae away from his chest to cup his large hands around the older’s face, gently wiping away the tears that continued to stream down.

“Please I’m sorry, I will fix this, I swear I will fix this. Don’t leave me please” Juyeon begs, looking into Hyunjae’s eyes with utmost desperation. “I will change, I will treat you right. I still love you so much, please”

Hyunjae’s heart falters at Juyeon’s words. He wants so badly to just forgive Juyeon, to believe his words and get back together again. But he can’t. The damage and hurt that Juyeon caused can’t be erased with one apology, it's going to take more than that.

“I..I don’t know Juyeon… can you give me some time?” Hyunjae whispers, staring down at the floor.

Juyeon looks absolutely crushed. He pulls away, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Y-yeah...of course...take all the time that you need…” They stand there for a moment in painful silence before Juyeon reluctantly picks up his bag, taking his leave.

But when he reaches the door, he stops in his tracks, hand on the doorknob but not leaving just yet. “Hyunjae...you…” he whispers, voice echoing through the quiet room, “you believe me right? When I say I love you.”

Hyunjae stares at him, tears blurring his vision. He doesn’t say a word.

Because he doesn’t want to lie.

Juyeon drops his head down, a single teardrop escaping his eye. He takes a moment to recollect himself before he quickly wipes at his face, looking back at Hyunjae.

“That’s okay, I will prove it to you. I will spend my entire life if I have to, to show you just how much I love you”

There’s a look in Juyeon’s eye. A look of fiery determination. Even though Hyunjae knows Juyeon is a hard worker, hellbent on succeeding in everything he does, he has never seen such intense determination in his eyes - not even when his team was on the verge of losing during the championship finals. It takes him by surprise, heart skipping a beat in his chest.

Juyeon leaves, shutting the door quietly. And Hyunjae is left alone in his room with tear-stained cheeks, but a tiny grain of hope in his chest.

\-------

Hyunjae’s gaze skims over his notes, his brain working tirelessly to absorb the information when a paper bag is suddenly shoved in front of his face. His head jerks up, and he sees Younghoon standing over him, looking almost bored.

“Juyeon told me to give this to you” Hyunjae frowns in confusion, taking the bag in his hands and peering inside. It is his favourite blueberry muffin.

“He also told me not to tell you it’s from him” Hyunjae raises an eyebrow, turning his head to follow Younghoon’s gaze. Juyeon is staring straight at them, signalling something to Younghoon with aggressive hand gestures. He freezes when Hyunjae turns around, eyes widening in panic and he quickly ducks behind his mathematics textbook, trying to hide.

Younghoon bursts out into laughter, holding onto the table for support as Hyunjae coughs awkwardly, averting his eyes away.

“Can’t you see how whipped this motherfucker is for you?” Younghoon teases lightly through his wheezes of laughter. But Hyunjae clutches at the paper bag, shifting in his chair uncomfortably.

Younghoon notices and immediately stops. “Hey, I really mean it though,” he says sincerely, taking a seat next to Hyunjae. “He’s really been a mess ever since you guys talked. He’s barely eating or sleeping properly, he can’t focus on anything, you’re all he thinks about.”

His mind replays the image of Juyeon just now, and only after Younghoon’s words does he realise the dark rings that were under Juyeon’s eyes, and how his cheeks looked hollow. His heart clenches in his chest, mind clouded with worry for his ex-lover.

“But take your time okay? I just wanted to let you know” Younghoon says, giving a comforting pat on his shoulder before walking away.

Hyunjae doesn’t text or call Juyeon, but he leaves a kimbap in his locker, with a post-it note attached.

_Thank you for the muffin today, here’s your favourite kimbap, please eat well._

Small steps, small steps.

\-------

Hyunjae walks out of the classroom door, chatting animatedly with his new group mates - one of them being Joseph, one of Juyeon’s close friends on the basketball team. Juyeon has told Hyunjae about him many times, but they never got the chance to meet until now.

“You know, even though this is our first time meeting, Juyeon talks about you so much that I feel like I already know you”

Hyunjae’s eyes widened in surprise. “What? He talks about me?”

“Does he talk about you? You're the only thing he ever talks about! At every single outing we go to, he’s constantly like - _My boyfriend Hyunjae is a photographer, my boyfriend Hyunjae likes that dish too, this is Hyunjae’s favourite song”_

Hyunjae is speechless, he had absolutely no idea.

He had always assumed Juyeon forgot about him.

Joseph, oblivious to Hyunjae’s reaction, rambles on animatedly. “There’s this one time where this guy called you cute and Juyeon got so jealous, you should have seen his face it was so funny!”

Rambunctious laughter pierces through the air, interrupting their conversation. They turn around to see Juyeon with a few of the other basketball players making their way down the hallway rowdily. Juyeon is looking as handsome as always with his hands in his pockets, watching his teammates with a relaxed smile as they goof around rowdily.

Hyunjae inhales sharply, he should probably go. He tries to bid Joseph goodbye but the latter cuts him off with a mischievous smile, “Watch this”

Hyunjae’s eyes grow wide with confusion as Joseph throws an arm across his shoulder, pulling him close. “Hey Juyeon!” he booms, capturing the attention of Juyeon and his friends.

Juyeon glances over. For a second, he stares blankly, trying to process the situation. But then his gaze zeroes in on Joseph’s arm around Hyunjae, and in an instant, his expression just _darkens_. He immediately surges forward, eyes slanted in a dangerous stare.

The basketballers start yelling rowdily in the background.

“Does Joseph have a death wish? Flirting with Hyunjae in front of Juyeon?”

“Oh my god Juyeon is going to kill him, no one touches his _precious_ Hyunjae”

Hyunjae can barely hear them over the loud thud of his own heartbeat that is ringing in his ears. He tries to say something but Juyeon is grabbing him by the wrist, yanking him out of Joseph’s hold. He stumbles forward, falling onto Juyeon’s chest.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Juyeon demands, glaring straight at Joseph. Hyunjae is taken aback, he’s never seen Juyeon _jealous_ before. Joseph throws his head back, laughing uncontrollably. “Oh my god would you relax I’m just joking!”

“You should be proud of yourself Hyunjae, making our all-mighty captain a whipped piece of shit”

He barely dodges the punch that Juyeon throws to his arm. “Can you just shut up already?” Juyeon hisses. Joseph backs away, raising his hands in surrender. “Alright alright, it was nice meeting you Hyunjae” he says, shooting Hyunjae a playful wink before hurriedly running off, fearing another punch from Juyeon.

“I’m going to kill him” Juyeon mutters under his breath.

“Um..Juyeon?” Hyunjae squeaks out, snapping Juyeon out of his reverie. He glances down, to where his hand is holding Hyunjae’s wrist in a tight grip.

“Oh shit, um...shit I’m sorry” he stutters, letting go. Hyunjae shuffles a few steps back, cheeks tinted pink.

“S-sorry… I just… I couldn’t help myself and….” Juyeon fumbles, shifting one foot to the other.

“It’s okay,” Hyunjae whispers, looking away nervously.

There’s an awkward pause. Juyeon clears his throat. “Sorry I’m holding you back you probably need to-”

“Do you really talk about me to everyone?” Hyunjae bursts out. He immediately regrets it, he sounds so stupid. But he couldn’t help himself, he really wanted to know.

Juyeon frowns in confusion. “Of course I did, why wouldn’t I”

Hyunjae averts his gaze to the ground, gnawing at his lips. “I just...I mean you hang out with all the cool and popular kids...why would you bring me up…”

_With all these pretty girls or handsome guys throwing themselves at you, why do you still care about me?_

There’s a pause as Juyeon looks straight into his eyes, gaze heavy with an emotion Hyunjae can’t decipher.

“I’m always thinking about you, no matter where I am or who I’m with”

Hyunjae’s breath gets stuck in his throat, the sudden surge of emotions making it hard to breathe.

“Juyeon I-”

The sharp trill of Juyeon’s handphone ringing cuts him off, shattering the delicate bubble they were in. Hyunjae’s mouth immediately snaps shut, losing the courage to say what’s on his mind.

“I-I’ll see you around” he fumbles, hurriedly walking away.

But Juyeon’s words replay in his mind over and over, throughout the day, keeping him distracted.

_I’m always thinking about you, no matter where I am or who I’m with._

\-----

Hyunjae heaves a huge sigh of relief as he slams his laptop shut, finally done with editing the photographs for the yearbook. He rubs his eyes tiredly and glances at the clock. _Shit, is it already 11pm?_ He groans inwardly, dreading the hassle of having to take the train back home when he’s already so exhausted. He sighs dejectedly, grabbing his bag before leaving the photography club’s room, making sure to switch off all the lights.

Hyunjae turns to leave but nearly trips over someone who was sitting by the door of the room, half asleep. Hyunjae shrieks in shock, jumping back as the person jolts awake, eyes blinking blearily in confusion.

“Juyeon?”

Hyunjae gapes at the younger male who is slowly standing up, stretching his stiff limbs. “Sorry, looks like I fell asleep,” He says, giving Hyunjae a sheepish smile. “Are you done?”

Hyunjae is dumbfounded. “What are you doing here?”

Juyeon lifts up his car keys, dangling them in the air. “I came to give you a lift home. I know how much you hate taking the train home after a long day”

“If that’s okay with you” he quickly adds, a hint of nervousness slipping through his confident facade.

Hyunjae is a little stunned, having not expected this at all, but his heart warms at the thoughtful gesture. “Let’s go,” he says, giving Juyeon a small smile. Hyunjae starts walking ahead, missing the way Juyeon lights up as if someone has just told him he won the lottery.

“So how was the literature club?” Hyunjae begins conversationally, knowing Juyeon’s schedule like the back of his hand. Juyeon clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Oh..um actually… I quit”

Hyunjae’s head whips over to Juyeon in surprise. “You quit? Why?”

Juyeon meets his gaze, looking tense. “You know why”

The words are unspoken but Hyunjae can see it in Juyeon’s eyes. _For you._

There is a heavy silence. Juyeon sees the way Hyunjae bites his lips nervously, at a loss for words.

“I mean the leader is a pain in the ass anyway” he quickly jokes, breaking the tension. Hyunjae laughs, and he’s secretly grateful, because he is not ready to deal with his emotions, at least not right now.

They fall into a comfortable banter afterwards. It feels just like old times, as Hyunjae curls up in the passenger seat of Juyeon’s car and tells him all about his day. Juyeon talks about all the nonsensical drama he has witnessed, making Hyunjae laugh so hard till his cheeks hurt. The radio becomes white noise as they get lost in their own world, happily soaking in each other’s presence. Hyunjae is fixated on the way the dim street lights make Juyeon’s eyes twinkle, and he doesn’t even notice that they have reached his apartment until the car slowly halts to a stop.

“We’re here,” Juyeon says, switching off the engine. Hyunjae feels a slight twinge of disappointment in his chest - they definitely reached faster than he would have liked.

There is a tense silence in the car, neither wanting to leave but neither daring to admit it. Juyeon clears his throat. “So uh...I’ll see you around?”

Hyunjae doesn’t miss the tremble in Juyeon’s voice, or the hopefulness in his eyes as he stares at Hyunjae, hands twitching anxiously. Juyeon looks so nervous, so _so_ nervous and Hyunjae just wants to soothe it all away.

Letting his heart control his actions, he leans over and presses a soft kiss to Juyeon’s cheek. “Thanks for the ride, I’ll see you soon,” he whispers. Hyunjae immediately gets out of the car, feeling shy by his own bold action. He makes a beeline to his apartment, cheeks flushing hotly.

As he reaches the entrance, he musters up enough courage to sneak a tiny peek back at Juyeon, and almost laughs when he sees Juyeon covering his mouth with one hand, attempting but failing to cover the wide smile on his face.

That night, despite the chilly wind that gusts by his window, Hyunjae falls asleep feeling warmer than ever.

\-----

Weeks go by. Despite that night, Hyunjae still hasn’t given Juyeon an answer. But Juyeon never stops trying. He continues to leave gifts in Hyunjae’s locker, (or forcing Younghoon to do it), and he continues to wait 4 hours every Tuesday and Thursday for Hyunjae to finish his photography work just so that he can send him home. He continues to make major changes to his own lifestyle too. Not only did he quit the literature club, but he also decided to go for less dance training sessions, and stepped down from some of his leadership roles in the student council. While it does sting a little, he does realise that it takes up way too much of his time, straining his relationships with his loved ones.

To be honest, Juyeon has gotten into arguments with several close friends, all of them being upset about Juyeon constantly ditching them for his activities. Obviously, Juyeon felt horrible, and did his best to make it up to them at first. But truthfully, it still wasn’t enough to push him to make any proper changes, and he just slowly slipped back into his overly busy schedule, neglecting his friends again.

But this time, this time it was different. The thought of losing Hyunjae scares him so much that he doesn’t hesitate to give up his commitments. They wouldn’t mean anything anyway, nothing would mean anything if he didn’t have Hyunjae anymore.

Juyeon always assumed that Hyunjae _knows_ , he knows how important he is to Juyeon, he knows that Juyeon would do absolutely anything and everything for him, he knows just how much Juyeon loves him.

But that’s not how things work. You can’t assume someone knows your heart. Your own feelings have to be translated into words and actions that they can understand.

Otherwise, they won’t know, and they might just leave.

Juyeon stares at the photograph that he keeps in his wallet. It’s a picture of Hyunjae, lips curled into the prettiest smile, corner of his eyes folding into endearing crinkles. It’s a picture that never fails to make Juyeon smile, even on his worst days.

Juyeon stares at the picture and desperately hopes that Hyunjae comes back to him.

\--

Hyunjae enters the hallways, a soft ballad playing through his earphones. He normally blends in with the crowd, just trying to get to class. But today, for some strange reason, all eyes fall on him as he walks through. He fidgets with his bag strap, glancing confusedly at everyone who seems to be staring and whispering about him. Their stares are full of envy or curiosity, exactly like how it was when news got out that he and Juyeon were dating. At least back then he knew the reason for their stares, but now he is absolutely clueless. He hangs his head low, hurriedly making his way to his locker, nerves buzzing in anxiety and worry.

His mind is racing with thoughts, trying to figure out what is going on when Younghoon taps him on his shoulder. “Oh my god thank god you’re here,” Hyunjae says, gripping Younghoon's arm in relief. “Can you tell me what’s going on? Why is everyone staring at me?”

Younghoon raises an eyebrow. “I’m guessing you haven’t seen this month’s issue for the school magazine yet?” Hyunjae frowns in confusion. “No I haven’t, why? Is there something about me inside?”

Younghoon pulls the magazine from his bag, flipping to a page before passing it to Hyunjae. “Take a look at it yourself”

Hyunjae raises his eyebrows quizzically, taking the magazine from Younghoon’s hands. He sees a picture of Juyeon, smiling dashingly in his basketball jersey. Hyunjae glances at the date when the interview took place. It was just before they broke up, when Hyunjae was thinking that Juyeon doesn’t love him anymore. A sharp pain stabs at his chest at the memory but he ignores it, choosing to read on.

Hyunjae skims through the words, frowning in confusion. It looks just like every other interview Juyeon has done, answering the same few standard questions - _how is it like being captain of the team? Any advice for your juniors? What plans do you have for the future?_

That is until he reaches the last question.

_Q. So Juyeon-ssi, before we wrap things up, here’s one last question. It’s been a stellar year for you, what would you say is the best thing that has happened to you so far?_

Hyunjae snorts. The question just seemed kind of pointless, since the answer was already so obvious. Juyeon is definitely going to say that it is winning the basketball championships, given how incredibly hard he has worked for it. Not to mention, it’s a dream he has had since he was a young child.

Hyunjae’s gaze lazily travels to the words printed in ink, already expecting the answer.

But he’s wrong.

_Juyeon: Meeting Hyunjae_

And it’s like Hyunjae can’t breathe. His heart pounds furiously in his chest as he clutches the paper, hands trembling as he tries to process the answer.

_Q: Wow, that was a very quick response! That's so sweet though, Hyunjae is one very lucky guy. Props to him, for overcoming such tough competition to win your heart._

_Juyeon: I think I’m the one who’s lucky to have him, there’s really...really no one like him. He doesn’t have to compete with anyone, because I will always choose him, no matter what. He really means everything to me, I’m nothing without him._

The emotions that overcome Hyunjae is like a tidal wave, fierce and unrelenting, pulling him under with no way out. He reads the words over and over again, tears welling up in his eyes as he does so, thinking of all the things Juyeon has done for him. Everything that had culminated just comes crashing down, and Hyunjae just realises how wrong he has been all this while.

All this time, he’s been so, so _wrong._

He shoves the magazine back into Younghoon’s hands and runs, leaving the other to just shake his head and smile. Hyunjae isn’t thinking as he boards the bus, heading straight for Juyeon’s apartment. His surroundings fade into a blur, and the only thing he can focus on is getting to Juyeon as fast as he can. He rushes up the stairs, taking long strides before he eventually reaches the door. He immediately presses the doorbell, heart pounding in anticipation.

For a split second, he regrets it, thinking whether he should have thought this through, but then the door opens and Juyeon is standing there, eyes widening in surprise as he stares at Hyunjae.

And Hyunjae is so overwhelmed with emotions, he doesn’t even know what to think or say. His body moves on its own accord and he surges forward, throwing his arms around Juyeon’s shoulders and hugging him tightly.

Juyeon immediately drops whatever was in his hands, arms wrapping around Hyunjae’s waist to hold him. “Are you okay? Did something happen? Are you hurt?” Juyeon asks worriedly, hands stroking the small of Hyunjae’s back soothingly.

“I..I saw your interview” Hyunjae whispers, burying his face in the crook of Juyeon’s neck. “What you said...d-did you mean it?”

Juyeon pulls Hyunjae away to look him in the eye, pressing their foreheads together as he does so. “ _God_ , of course I meant it, I meant every word. You mean the world to me Hyunjae, you have to know that”

It’s nothing but raw, unfiltered honesty. Every word is so genuine and sincere, and Hyunjae knows Juyeon means it with all his heart.

He leans forward, pressing his lips against Juyeons’ in a tender kiss. The moment is fragile and delicate, emotions weighing heavily in the air. Their lips move against each other slowly and gently, quietly embracing the warm love that is mending their broken pieces back together. New starts and second chances can be scary, but Hyunjae wants to give it a shot.

“I love you” Juyeon whispers, pressing a soft kiss to Hyunjae’s forehead.

Hyunjae smiles, and believes him.

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone!! this is my first fic I hope you enjoyed it! follow me on twitter @miraebbi lets be besties and scream about jujae tgt <3 I've been on stan twt for a while but I decided to create a seperate account for my writing!! I have a lot of content that I will be posting there, including a jujae au that I will be posting real soon, so be sure to look out for that! 
> 
> Please leave a kudos if you enjoyed this! and comment your favourite quote/scene I would love to hear about it!
> 
> Lastly, I just wanted to share that I wrote this fic with the intention of emphasising an important lesson, which is letting someone know how you feel. As you can see, there's a part where Juyeon says "you can't assume someone knows your heart." I think it's important to communicate with our loved ones, whether it be family, friends, or our partners, in order to maintain a loving relationship. It's easy to take them for granted, so it's important to remind ourselves to appreciate them and all that they do for us.


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